Hotheaded Inquiry

I love spicy food. And I'm not saying just a kick of spice. I need authentic-Indian food spicy; I need sweaty, teary, sinus-clearing competitive eating type spicy. I'm talking the hottest thing on the menu. I don't know why I'm such a glutton for this particular form of torture, but it really does just make food more pleasurable for me, plain and simple. Perhaps it's my Hispanic background? Maybe, although nobody else in my family can handle even a laughable amount of spice (In my opinion, I suppose). Or could my tongue just be desensitized to hot food? It does appear as if I can handle more and more over time.

There is one problem with having this need to feel this particular burn. Disappointment. There are a good number of times that I'll go to a restaurant (lets say a wings place) and order the hottest option they offer, only to find the food much too bearable. This, of course, follows a grave look on the waiter or waitress's face as they warn me of the extreme magnitude of their so-called inferno sauce. There are of course a few places here and there that can cater to my preferences, which makes me wonder: Is the food at some places really just not spicy enough for me, even in their most threatening incarnations, or do waiters size me up and think that I'm underestimating the Scoville reading on the scale, and figure that they will play it safe to avoid me sending the food back, or filing a law suit? So, I implore anyone who's been involved in the restaurant industry who may be reading this to please enlighten me on the matter.