Restaurant Do's and Don'ts

Working in a restaurant has given me a different perspective on dining out. I deal with some of the sweetest and most polite people; however, I also deal with some unbelievably rude and inconsiderate ones. Here goes my rant!
1) If you want a booth, tell the hostess who takes your name. Do NOT wait until s/he walks you all the way to the back of the restaurant to request a booth. Also, if you are considerably overweight (we're talking 300+ lbs), please do not request a booth and make us watch you awkwardly try to manipulate and squeeze your fat into the tight space. (Sidenote: if you have to request a chair with out arms because you can't fit, should you really be eating fettucine alfredo at the Olive Garden?)
2) If you come in to a restaurant with a party of six or more, it's going to take a little longer to accomodate you. We are more than willing to help you out. However, please understand that this is not a banquet hall. If you have a party of 30, do not act outraged and alarmed at an hour and a half quote time. Spare me your attitude. Get there early if you have a time constraint.
3) Discipline your freaking kids. This is Olive Garden, not McDonald's. Your kids do not need to be running around toppling trays and spilling food.
4) When a host or server smiles and asks how you are doing, at least pretend to have decent manners and give a response. There is nothing more awkward than greeting someone with a smile and a friendly hello and having them stare at you with a stone cold expression on their face. Who knew Italian food was such a serious affair?
5) Stay OUT of my personal space. I can't tell you how many old men have rubbed my back, pinched my cheek, leaned way too close to my face and winked, and brushed their hand a little too close to my chest.
6) Do not seat yourself. My job is to take you to your table. Believe it or not, I actually know what I'm doing, and I take you to that table for a reason. Do not try to tell me how to do my job.

END RANT (for now...)